Archive for August, 2012

On Being A Veteran

Posted in Comedy, Humor, Life, Military, Politics on August 15, 2012 by deviant11b

As I write this the date is August 15 2012, I got out of the Army Nov, 18ish 2011 (and I only say the ish part because I was still with my buddies when I had my birthday so of course in true infantry fashion I can’t remember the whole week). Regardless of the fact of when how long its been (9 months and 27 days) or how many beers I’m in (8) the fact is that I am now a civilian, but I’m a civilian with a much different history that most civilians. I go to work now (Mexican chef, and massive over user of parenthesis) and hear people bitch about working 35 or 40 hours a week. I do it too don’t get me wrong, but the difference is that I’ve known 70 hour work weeks, they’ve known 35. Theirs have been in controlled environments, mine have been in a place that can only be described as the ass crack off the shit head that gets fucked in the ass by Satan (sorry mom). But this has been my experience as a veteran.

THE RETURN: Ahh the glorious return, the day when all good men come back and yearn for one thing in their own home town. The taste of the cheapest booze, the comfort of the sleaziest woman, or the brush of the hardest fist against their chin. I’m not talking about getting home from a deployment, because as any good non-NG man knows the first few nights back in the states are spent in a haze of reality and booze induced euphoria/paranoia. I’m talking about going back home to “fuckitwhocares” Indiana, or where ever you may come from. Your friends want to buy you shots, the girls want your attention, and the other men…. well they want what your about to get cuz its gonna be friggin awesome. But what no one knows is that you hate it. You hate being introduced as “my friend who was in the army and deployed and is back home”. You hate being back home because the only people you ever felt close with or thought your could entrust your fucking life with are all spread out across the country. You hate it because the people who are now talking to you and buying you shots are the people you have the least in common with. They went to college at 18, you went to war. For their 21st birthday they went to a bar and got hammered, you went on a patrol and wished for the sight of a beer bottle. They got to live their life, the government told you how to live yours. But we don’t bitch god forbid we desecrate the organization that gets more men one night stands than being the only black man in an Asian version of the spice girls. Basically the return back home is you trying to keep your head down because you don’t want unwanted attention, which after a couple of months out of the military you don’t want at all. Alas I’ve come to the end of the RETURN rant.

THE MIDDLE: Don’t lie, resentment is one of the biggest words in our inner monologue. How is this fucker who went to college making more a year than me? I went to war. I deployed. I did more in four years than anyone else in a 50 mile radius have done in their life time. I change, saved, in some cases took more lives than anyone I know. At this point were all trying to make sense of it all. How did this guy who was a fuck up all through high school suddenly pull his shit together overnight when it took me 4 years(my own time some have done longer) to realize what was really important. How did that girl end up with him rather than you? Simple. It’s because you weren’t there, couldn’t be there, and in some cases shouldn’t be there. In my own experience I shouldn’t have been there, had I gone to school right after high school I would have been offering ZJs under the bridge and believe me if you gotta ask you can’t afford it. but resentment runs high amongst us. We get in fights over it, at least I have. Some girl at a bar that I was into was talking about how she always carries a gun with her so she can “pop” who ever looks at her wrong. I called bullshit on it and had to fight her boyfriend over this stupid shit. Long story short I won, and he tried to show up with a gun later on in the night. Never fear I’m writing this so I must be alive right? my point is that I thought that being a veteran was enough to make it through whatever altercation may have occurred, but I was wrong. There are some people out there that just don’t give a fuck. They want to prove that they are the biggest and baddest piece of shit to ever walk through a set of doors ever. Rest assured I proved him wrong and he is a black eye and a sore ego away from ever proving me wrong, although it did cost me a bloody lip to prove HIM wrong. But that was in my middle stage, I’ve matured at least to my fuck it stage.

FUCK IT: This is where I’m at now. I just don’t care about what I’ve done. I know its more than anyone I know has done, but I just don’t care. Why? Cuz whats the point? So what I’ve done more than most people my age. Thats not why I joined up. Honestly I joined up cuz I watched too many war movies, and I thought that it was all noble. Guess what, it want noble, not all of it at least. A woman was left hanging cuz she tried to turn her husband in and HIGHER said cant do it, she was an American citizen by the way. So what if a week after we left the unit that replaced us lost 4 guys one of which was the same position that I would have been occupying had I been there. So what, fuck it all, I just don’t care anymore. Right now all I care about is making my bill payments and not getting evicted which I’m doing pretty good at..

CONCLUSION: Ive lost track of the point I was trying to make honestly, and I apologize, but in the end this wasn’t meant for my friends from high school, this was meant for my guys I did time with, and the guys that I didn’t do time with that might for some reason stumble upon this. We’re not alone in our hatred for humanity. It may take a certain kind of man to decide to raise his hand and say those magical words that thrust you into the role of the government’s pawn, but it takes an entirely different breed of man to live with it after the kings been captured and you go back to your role off of the chess board.